Her Secret Life Read online

  “I’m not waiting,” he clarified. “I just decided that I wasn’t going to date again unless I was asked.”

  Her mouth hung open. He wanted to hug her.

  “You’re serious.”

  “Completely.” Made perfect sense to him. More than that, he knew it was the right choice. A woman had to get past his face, to be attracted to him—the package—for anything to work between them.

  “But...what if she’s just after your money?”

  That thought had occurred to him. He had to wonder about it occurring to Kacey, as well. Did she think only a woman after his money would actually ask him out? If so, he didn’t want to know.

  “I’ll hope I’m perceptive enough to catch it,” he said.

  Kacey stood. “I guess I should let you get back to work,” she said, watching him as she reached for her bag and slung it over her shoulder.

  He was glad she held his gaze. Glad it didn’t have the chance to slide down to the slice of flat, perfect belly showing between her jeans and her sweater.

  He should be used to it by now. Kacey was Kacey. She dressed in a way that showed her off to perfection.

  “You still planning to head back to LA tomorrow?” he asked.

  She nodded as she made her way to the door, still studying him.

  As though she needed something. “You want to meet for lunch on your way home?” He’d gladly make the drive to Little’s. And would tell Diane she was going to have to take their brother shopping or something. He had a feeling, after his talk with Charlie, either of his sisters would be happy to comply with the request.

  Kacey was shaking her head. “I can’t, Michael,” she said, frowning. “Lacey and Jem and I already promised Levi a trip to Uncle Bob’s.”

  The famous hamburger joint had a sandbox for kids to play in.

  He nodded. Disappointed. And knowing he had no right to be.

  He saw her reach for the door handle. Waited for her to pull it open and be gone from his life until the next time she breezed through town. Instead, she turned back, reaching for his face. Touching his scars with fingers that were far too beautiful. Too perfect.

  Instinct told him to pull back. Something else paralyzed him.

  He accepted the light, tender brush against his skin that he couldn’t feel. Until she got to his chin. And up to his cheekbone. Those touches he felt.

  In regions she wasn’t even close to.

  Feeling his fly growing tight, he held her gaze. Wanting so much to say something to her. But before he could figure out what that was, she was gone.

  Out of his life.

  Back to hers.

  Leaving him, once again, alone.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  SHE’D FORGOTTEN THAT LACEY, Jem and Levi had been invited to a cookout at the home of one of Jem’s employees—a foreman who’d been friends with him since college. Jem insisted Dillon wouldn’t care if they brought along a fourth. He even called the man to prove to Kacey that she’d be welcome. Lacey insisted that she was joining them.

  But Kacey didn’t feel like a party. Or curious questions. She’d been bothered since leaving Michael’s makeshift office at the Stand that morning and didn’t want to take a chance that she’d miss his call or be trapped in a backyard with people she hardly knew when it came.

  She needed to speak with him, to hear his voice.

  To know that they were okay. Outside Lacey she’d never had a real friend. Had never realized she’d needed one.

  She drove down to the beach, and because it was still light outside she got out to walk. People milled around. A couple of local families with kids in jeans and sweatshirts, searching the sand with metal detectors. A couple in sweaters, holding hands. A group of teenage girls, giggling, bumping shoulders and looking behind them as they walked.

  A normal night at the local beach. But something was wrong with her. She’d felt off since she left Michael’s office.

  And she was afraid it was something she’d done or said. Or not done or said. Noticing that she was hurting those she cared about was not her strong suit.

  After almost an hour of walking along the shore in tennis shoes that were a bit damp and covered with sand, she made her way back up the beach. But she wasn’t ready to go home. While some of the tension had eased away, she had no answers for herself.

  Was part of her problem the fact that she hadn’t told Bo about Michael? Was she being duplicitous?

  Could a woman have a male friend and be in a relationship at the same time?

  Was that her problem? Two men in her life?

  Not that Michael was a man in her life. He was just a person in her life.

  She cared about him. That was a no-brainer. He was genuinely fond of her, too, even knowing her shortcomings.

  He liked her for who she was, not her looks or her fame. Lord knew he’d never seen her at her best. She didn’t fuss with her hair or makeup in Santa Raquel. Truth be known, she treated the town like she was going camping.

  Bo would think something was wrong with her. He was used to waiting for her to do herself up before going out with him. But then, Bo wanted her as a man wanted a woman.

  Michael was a friend. He wasn’t interested in her sexually.

  Pulling her sweater down as close to the waistband of her jeans as it would go, she thought back to the scene in his office that morning.

  Being interrupted.

  Feeling guilty.

  Like she and Michael had been having illicit sex.

  She didn’t have sexual feelings for Michael. That was something she’d actually thought about. Something for which she was truly grateful. Her feelings for Michael were far too important to her to risk something as fleeting as sexual attraction.

  Maybe that was it. Maybe it had been his story about Susan. Kacey had found it pretty unbelievable that the woman wouldn’t feel a sexual pull to a man as sexy as Michael Valentine.

  And yet, here she was, being just like Susan.

  Was that the problem? Was that why she was so bothered? How could she find fault with Susan when she was no different? For that matter, how could she so vehemently tell Michael that there was no way Susan could be normal and not be attracted to him if she wasn’t? Had she lied to Michael? Lost credibility with him?

  That didn’t explain her feelings when he’d called, “Come in,” to the woman at his door.

  Why had she gone after Susan so harshly? Defended his sexual allure so vehemently? How could she, if she didn’t feel it?

  Her heart thumping, she turned from the parking lot and walked along the beach again. Dusk had fallen. It would be dark soon. She had to stay in sight of the parking lot or Lacey would kill her.

  She was not sexually attracted to Michael.

  She couldn’t be.

  It would ruin everything.

  * * *

  MICHAEL’S PLANS FOR a quiet evening of hot dogs and video games with his brother, followed by a leisurely call with Kacey, were blown to hell by a phone call.

  A client had been hacked. A big client. Customers’ personal information was vulnerable. An identity theft nightmare and millions in insurance liability were looming on the immediate horizon. He had to get to work. Immediately.

  One screen wasn’t going to do it. His home server wasn’t going to do it. Just his fingers on the keyboards and his eyes on the screens weren’t enough. Making a couple of quick calls, he had some of his key analysts on their way to meet him at the office.

  And then there was Willie. The kid had had a great week and was finally starting to relax a little. He wasn’t meeting his gaze directly, but Michael was pretty convinced that the kid was close. He’d gone from staring at his chest to glancing at his chin.

  “You want to come along?” he asked. “You’re
good with computers. We might be able to find something for you to do.”

  Willie didn’t have clearance, so Michael couldn’t risk his own by putting his brother to work on any of the sensitive stuff. But if they needed basic searches...

  “Nah.” Video controller already in hand, Willie said, “I’m going to sit right here and beat your ass.” And then, still looking at the huge screen in front of him, he said, “It’s about the only way I’m ever going to beat you at this thing.”

  Probably. Michael hoped so, anyway. Big brothers had to have some edges. But it was Friday night. And Willie had really come through.

  “You want to invite Ron over?” he asked. He couldn’t tolerate most of Willie’s friends. But Ron had been around since kindergarten. He’d been a part of their family almost as long as Willie had.

  “You saying I can?”

  Why not? The kid had to know he was trusted so he’d start to trust himself.

  Michael nodded. “Just Ron, though,” he couldn’t help adding.

  “I know.” Willie grimaced. “I’m on house arrest.”

  “You are not on house arrest.” Well, not technically. Willie was free to come and go. He just couldn’t take his truck without asking Michael for the keys. And he had to report in during school hours until he graduated. To get him graduated.

  He wasn’t a prisoner. He wasn’t a danger to anyone but himself in terms of sabotaging his own success. He wasn’t a thug.

  But if the kid felt like he had to stay at Michael’s house any time he wasn’t at school, then maybe that wasn’t a bad thing.

  “You know I’m going to be calling,” Michael said.

  “Yep.” The teenager successfully completed the level he was on. Stared toward the screen while the next one booted. Michael wished it’d be cool to tell his kid brother that he loved him.

  Wished he could be certain that Willie would believe him.

  Maybe it would happen. Someday.

  Shrugging off the thought, and any others that might distract him, he grabbed his keys and went to work.

  * * *

  WITH THE SURF roaring gently in her ears, Kacey shivered. She was going to have to head back. But she really wanted to speak with Michael while she was out on the beach.

  Illogical, probably.

  But the beach...the ocean and waves and horizon...they’d saved her from herself. They held her answers.

  Or held her in loving arms while she found them within herself.

  She was being dramatic. Fanciful. Just like Lacey always said.

  And yet, truth was, she drew strength from the ocean. Felt more capable when she was standing at its shore.

  Darkness fell before eight in Santa Raquel in March. She couldn’t really expect Michael to call so early. He’d be with Willie for another couple of hours. At least.

  Thinking she’d head back to her car, maybe just sit there for a while, or take a drive and come back, she turned around.

  The walk had done her good.

  She had her answers.

  She was not sexually attracted to Michael. She couldn’t be.

  He was a gorgeous man. She was human. And noticed his allure. But the feelings of friendship were so much stronger they wiped out everything else.

  The theory comforted her. She was not on the brink of ruining one of the best things that had ever happened to her.

  She wasn’t being duplicitous with Bo. Or with Michael.

  She was just learning how to have—and be—a friend.

  And she was trying to do so without leaning on Lacey. She’d spent so many years letting Lacey be the wind beneath her wings. She had a major debt to pay for her own single-mindedness. The only way to do that was to be a sister, not just have one.

  As the evening’s light grew dim, the few people on the beach had dissipated with it. She could still see a couple of figures ahead of her. Took comfort from their presence. No, not two, three of them. Even better. It wasn’t a couple looking for intimacy.

  They were messing with each other. One threw a playful punch at his companion. She could hear their laughter. Male. And young.

  Local kids, she was sure.

  Levi in ten years. Man, she loved that kid. More than she’d known you could love a kid. He was so innocent and wise at the same time.

  Would she ever have a Levi of her own?

  The boys were headed the way she’d come. There was nothing open down there, but she remembered being that age. You made fun out of nothing.

  She couldn’t make out their features, even as they drew closer. Average height and build. Athletes, probably. Jeans and long-sleeved shirts. If she was from town, she’d probably know them. Be able to tease them. She wanted that. To belong to a town, not just a tribe. To have ordinary conversation because that was what people did.

  They were walking right toward her. Confidence of youth, she knew. Remembered walking with it herself. Even as they drew closer, they didn’t move over, giving her room. The one in the middle elbowed the one on the left.

  “Hey!” she said, grinning, as they came upon her.

  Two were smiling, one was not. She caught a glimpse of something...fear?

  And then...

  “Hey!” she cried out as the other two linked elbows with her, one on either side. “Umph.” She heard her voice as her back hit the sand with such force it knocked the wind out of her.

  You took my air.

  She looked at the faces looming over her, ready to let them know she wasn’t enjoying their game.

  And that’s when she knew.

  They weren’t playing a game.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  MIKE DID NOT get so deep into the work that he forgot to call Willie. Every forty-five minutes to an hour he had the kid on the phone, getting updates from him on the video game.

  Ron had joined him and was playing under Mike’s account, the kid gleefully told him. Ron wasn’t nearly as good at world building as Mike was. His brother assured him he’d be ahead by the time Mike got back.

  At which point he told them they better be up when he got home. He was going to show them who was champ. He also told Willie his buddy could stay over for the night.

  Funny, how much he was looking forward to getting home to them.

  * * *

  THERE WERE THREE of them. Three sets of eyes peering down at her. Two had hair long enough to hang over their cheeks. The third’s was curly.

  “Come on, Mama, what you got for us, eh?” The guy in the middle reeked of alcohol as he bent over her. He had her right arm pinned with his shin, his knee on her shoulder. And was undoing his pants.

  Turning her head, she couldn’t think where he was going with that.

  “Wait, man,” the kid on her left arm said. “It’s so much better if you take your time...” She felt a hand on her stomach and closed her eyes. It moved to her thigh, trying to pull her legs apart. The third kid—he’d dropped to her feet, was holding them tightly. Together...

  Another hand reached her bra. Ripped the tiny scrap of lace and squeezed her breast.

  “Help!” Kacey tried to scream. Fear suffocated her and only a whisper came out. “Help! Help!”

  They yanked her sweater up, exposing her breasts to the cold night air.

  “Wow, look at this...” The voice was by her head.

  “Just like the photo...” She heard the voice from down by her feet.

  “Oh, wow, man, I’m not sure how long I can wait.” The voice on her right...

  Hands grabbed her waistband. She was going to be raped. She struggled to remember her self-defense classes but couldn’t move her hands or knees. “Help!” She tried another scream.

  She would not cry.

  “Please,” she said, trying to cat
ch the eye of the face looming closest to her in the dark. She couldn’t make out hair color, but she could see features. “Please, don’t do this.” Begging was supposed to be good if they were just drunk kids looking for fun.

  And would only egg them on if they were psychopaths.

  One nipple was being pinched, the other licked. She zoned. Became Doria. Separated Kacey from the scene.

  And realized that the weight on her feet was gone.

  “What are you doin’, man? Where you goin’?” Lips were still at her breast, so she figured the talker was the one with his hand on her chest and his pants partially undone. She held her legs together on her own now.

  She’d have written the scene differently. On a street. Far away from the beach.

  Doria was crying, which was odd. She wasn’t a crier, even when the love of her life had been killed right in front of her. She’d waited until weeks later, when she was alone, to finally lose it.

  “I gotta go...” The voice at her feet was fading. “I gotta puke!”

  Doria had thrown up on set for weeks when they’d had her pregnant. So they could have her miscarry when the love of her life was killed...

  When the hand fumbled at her waist again, she raised both knees at once, and landed a blow to the head on her right.

  He twisted her breast. “Shit, man, she likes it rough.”

  She swung again with both knees, moving every part of her body she could. Sand grated against her back. She noticed but couldn’t focus. She could only move.

  “Get off her breast, man, get down there.”

  “Hold her legs...”

  She turned her head. If she was going to lose this battle, she would not be present.

  She couldn’t lose. She couldn’t.

  With a knee ready, she waited for the guy on her left to move lower. She caught him, just as he was going to sit on her thighs.

  “Ugh!” She heard his grunt and felt him land on her legs and then roll over to the sand.

  The third guy had gotten his pants undone and was reaching inside. She turned her head. She wasn’t done fighting. With her free arm, she slammed her hand to his face, hoping she got his nose, but cried out when he caught her wrist instead.